i have ideas for TV

please don't steal them. please do feel free to hire me and give me lots of money.

i know i wouldn't be thinking of actually working on them if i wasn't doing school right now, but right now, school is a drag because it is making me think of all the good ideas i have that would be a shame to never write. or a shame to never write first -- because if i don't get around to doing them, someone else will end up doing something similar, although less brilliant, and recieve all the accolades that should rightfully be mine.

just so that you know i had these ideas first, i'm going to write about two of them here. i can't hold them in my head, but i don't have the time to just sit down and pound out a script for the pilot episode of one idea or personally animate the first episode of the other idea. perhaps, if i'm unlucky enough to find out that someone stole these ideas from me, i will be comforted with the fact that i could sue their ass hole off and live comfortably in ireland working on the book that will make me a major literary figure from now until the english language dies. you all will be my witnesses to the fact that i had these ideas first. my expert legal team will be sending you notification of your court dates shortly. we already have your addresses.

IDEA 1

ok, i realize its a little dorky -- but i love He-Man. i grew up with He-Man. the moral code by which i live i learned from watching He-Man. ok, that's not really true...at least, i don't think...having recently seen some of those moral bits that ended every episode, it makes you wonder.....anyhow. from the time of my earliest memories to when i was about nine years old and ashamed to admit it, i passionately loved He-Man. i know, i know...its a crappy cartoon, laughable really...so badly done. but when your four, you don't care about that. you just want He-Man to punch things, and chop up robots with his sword. the one thing that sticks out in my mind, and that i still manage to find not so crappy is some of the character design. Skeletor especially. i loved Skeletor almost as much as i loved He-Man. that green, glow in the dark colored skull...the face only a mother, or me at four years old, could love. such a cool looking bad guy. you don't get meaner than having a skull for a face. his voice sucked, but he had such a badass look going for him. and then, what always mystified and yet made strange sense to me, was his association with Castle Greyskull. a guy with a skull for a head would naturally want to be running a place that basically had his face carved into the front of it. what i never understood was why it was the 'home base' of the good guys, and why they wanted to keep it if it looked like Skeletor.

anyways my idea is this: a second generation He-Man cartoon that takes place in a politically distraught Eternia, 20 years after the original series. ok, right now i'm regretting making the original series sound so corny, and it will be hard to talk up the reasons why my idea would be cool. maybe its just because he has been ingrained in my brain since childhood, but i feel as though He-Man got the short end of the super-hero stick -- he occupies the same upper echelon of herodom in my mind as Superman and Batman do. He-Man could have been a major player if he were handled as more than a device to sell toys. some of the design and thought that went into He-Man was pretty ambitious for a cartoon, and some of the guys that worked on it went on to do the work they're famous or semi-famous for now(see here and here for Paul Dini, and here for Bruce Timm).

So my idea, again, is this: you take it to the next level. Eternia is basically in the midst of their World War II -- the bad guys have taken control of Castle Greyskull, in which Evil Lynn lives, with her son Ozrik, who is the heir of Skeletor (yes, she and Skeletor made a little baby). Skeletor is dead, but that hasn't saved Eternia from any danger, because Evil Lynn and Ozrik are each twice as ruthless as he ever was. what's more, He-Man has not been seen in twenty years. Prince Adam, the former He-Man, has never revealed his secret identity to the public, but has ascended the throne of Eternia. despite his coming to power, he has never been able to show the same fortitude he did as Greyskull's protector, and it is all he can do to keep Eternia locked in the stalement it has been since Greyskull was overtaken. Teela, who Eternia generally assumes to be dead is actually on the lam -- she is the rightful sorceress of Castle Greyskull, and is being hunted by Evil Lynn's minions. Teela does, however, have Duncan to protect her, though he is no longer Man-At-Arms, and is technically no longer alive -- he is a cyborg, the brain of Duncan in a robotic body. Before she faked her death and took off, she had a child with King Adam, who was hidden (a la Star Wars) because it was feared that this heir to Eternia's throne would be attacked by Skeletor's forces, and that the only chance in overcoming Skeletor's reich lay in the possibility that this little prince grow up to assume the mantle of He-Man. His name is Seth. initially he does not know who his parents are -- and he is shepherded by Orko, no longer the bumbling magician, but the greatest sorcerer in all Eternia. only Orko knows the significance of Seth's existence, and knows how important it is to introduce him to the role of He-Man before all hell breaks loose. Orko plays a Gandalf-type, a wizard of Dumbldorian proportions; extremely wise, and unimaginably powerful. but he realizes the need for a new He-Man, and the first episode begins with him leading Seth to where he's hidden the power sword, and revealing the truth about who he is and where he comes from. the rest of the series would be mainly about Seth's internal struggle with trying to assume the role of He-Man, and the external struggle of He-Man verses the forces of Evil Lynn and Ozrik.
fwhew. that was a mouthful. can you believed i typed that all with one breath? well, not really, but then, you'd never know, would you?

i heard a while back that John Woo, who i could give two shits about, was thinking of doing a He-Man movie, which i could give many, many shits about. chances are i'd be pretty disappointed with his attempt, and normally i'd dream about directing the movie myself except for the fact that if this movie ever gets out of development it would open the market for this cartoon idea. all i would want really are a few seasons of seven to ten minute episodes, something like Tartakovsky's Star Wars: Clone Wars, or the Maxx, from MTV's Oddities. short. sweet. to the point. leaves you begging for more. i would totally love to see it as an internet cartoon, but i don't know any animators, and i don't know Flash, and i don't know anyone willing to do it or learn and then work for me for free. if i had money, time, and more money i'd buy a high end computer and Flash and other various animation software, and do a whole ten minute episode myself. but unless it starts raining rare civil war collectables, thats never going to happen.

(stay tuned for IDEA 2 -- right now its my bedtime)