(see reverse side)

i'm realizing now that my most recent posts have been a bit, shall we say, dismal. its true, i have sometimes been labelled as pessimistic, characterized as gloomy, and treated for being mildly depressed. but i beg to differ with and barely understand those who point out my more saturnine qualities as being strange or defective from the norm. firstly, why do people insist on walking around being fooled by mantras and medication into thinking everything's ok? if you need those things to help you believe that, isn't that the only proof i need to point out that you're wrong? secondly, people misjudge me for being merely bitter, just because they haven't a palette refined enough to sense the sweet. i am no different than a hershey's chocolate morsel, for use in cookies, cakes, and other baked goods (see recipes on reverse side of package).

they say its about perspective; i can hardly disagree. that the world is as you see it is a hard thing to contest. but i guess i'm not as interested in removing myself from what i see to examine how i see. and what i see is that it is the world, more than i, that is bittersweet. there is goodness, there is badness, and the fine lines inbetween become a hatchwork of grey, of mingled and only minutely distinct strokes that go one way or another.

ultimately, for me, its not what i see or how i see, but what i make of it. what i make is the key. the trapped debris in the junkyard of my brain is not so important as what i can make out of it. there is lots of ugly, lots of pain, lots of gloom and sadness. and even if that's all i see, i believe i can redeem it, i can create something with it, and that thing can be beautiful.

i'm neither a pessimist nor an optimist. i'm not even a realist. i'm just looking for recipes on the other side of the package.