Friday, December 02, 2005

makin a list...

nice

a rush of newly rehired cute girls at work

naughty

my boss, for being so certifiably crazy, its leaking out her head and infecting everyone else. as much as i love her and she reminds me of my Sitti (also freaking nuts), she is driving me insane to the point that i want a customer to rob us and shoot me in the face.

nice

mom and dad, for helping me out with rides to and from work throughout my town-of-amherst-induced vehicular immobilzation.

naughty

town of amherst, for suspending my licsense, and forcing me to buy over $100 in cab rides in the last two weeks, whose fares often exceeded the money i made at work that day. had i the power, i would condemn thee to the weeping and gnashing of thy teeth in the lake of fire, until thou wouldst beggest of me thy salvation -- and, being the merciful being that i am, i would grant it to thee -- provided that thou still hast the manual dexterity and presence of mind to fill out two forms, arrive at court on the appointed date and time (certain to be scheduled directly in the midst of thy daily tasks of boulder rolling, attempted thirst quenching and liver-pecking), wait one week, call the appropriate office to schedule thy education which shall teach thee how not to get thyself thrown into a lake of fire (as if thou couldst not figure it out on thine own), and, within two weeks of said education session, pay the fine of more-money-than-you-have-dollars, and unreasonable cents. and anticipate no kindness from me towards thee, expect not my favour -- thou hast forced me to get up off of my fat ass for five whole minutes to condescend and talk to thee, thou lawbreaker! -- and when i returneth mine ass to mine comfy, rolly chair, it shall be cold. how dare thee?

nice

my co-worker, kristin, for giving me a ride home the other night, even though she was sick, and it was out of her way. she is a trooper and champ.

naughty

my co-worker, jim, for totally pulling a no-call, no-show that day and making me work a double, so that i had no other options to get a ride home besides a $25 cab and kristin, who wouldn't let me take the cab. also, he is better looking, and younger and more buff than i am. so he can just bite me twice as hard. douchebag.

naughty

my job -- for making me miss school weeks at a time, because i am a nice guy and i bail them out every day because they are short during the day shift, and they take it for granted and i can't get anything done, and this is going to be the worst semester i have ever had in college -- and not just "i didn't get straight A's like i usually do" bad -- i'm talking, "i haven't done this bad since i barely graduated highschool" bad.

naughty

school. for screwing me over and making my life difficult every chance it gets. for: sending my traffic bill to a collection agency. for: not acknowledging when i paid off my account with the collection agency. for: placing my school account on hold because they had not recognized my payment. for: not letting me drop a class that i never took (and will likely end up paying for) because they put my account on hold. for: the mysterious new hold on my account that won't let me register for my spring classes. for: somehow taking just a little bit longer than forever until they sent my loan refunds back to me. for: not sending my financial aid information through on time because somehow i lost status as an american citizen over the summer. for: making me bring in a birth certificate to prove to them i was born in the US of fricking A. for: making me order a new birth certificate from albany, because i couldn't find my original...(guess what i found after paying the fee for the new certificate?) for: putting me in direct conflict with my job, my desire to do well in school, and the rest of my life. thank you, buff state, for being efficient only in the areas of wasting my time, and being whiny bureaucratic pussies. you totally suck.

nice

kiran, for being a guy i would do anything for and who would do anything for me

naughty

the army, for sending him to iraq

nice

Jeniffer Ulrich and Jen Miller for managing to be new friends even though i know they'd rather have more from me.

naughty

me, for unintentionally leading on Julie Randolph...i actually do like her like that, but i can't have a girlfriend right now...and for somewhat intentionally leading on Mary G. sometimes, i'm a bad person.

nice

starting Goethe's the Sorrows of Young Werther

naughty

not finishing Goethe's the Sorrows of Young Werther, even though i only have 30 pages to go. (i am such a yutz. i call myself an english major?)

nice

God, giving me things i truly don't deserve. and seriously. if you only knew. i don't mean this in a cotton candy way, the way everyone else invariably does. this is some for real type shit. like, "vincent, we should be dead, we should be fucking dead."

naughty

not deserving anything God gives me.

nice

my family, in Albany...because i have them

naughty

me, for never seeing, calling, writing, visiting, or anything them enough. sorry. :(

nice

me, for finally figuring out what i want out of life

naughty

the world, for being the obstacle course in that's in my way.
and lastly...

nice

Aaron Sorkin, for having a new play, a new movie, and a new tv show set to release all within one year. i love that guy.

naughty

me, for not being Aaron Sorkin. that guy is such a bastard

and that's m' list folks. i've checked it twice.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

::hugs:: I miss you.