so, i've been making more of an effort to do some writing lately, and that feels good. the problem is the riduculous lack of discipline and laughably small dividends: i am barely working or doing anything, so my whole day is generally geared towards writing. which means i can -- and i DO -- wait as long as i want to get started (no surprise here to anyone who really knows me). and i can't seem to eke out more than a couple pages of overly process-conscious writing.
i am trying to work on what i am calling "Vol. 1" of a two volume novel.
its really not coming together just yet, so i have been grinding out pages of experiments -- excercises, more or less, for my faulty mind. there are so many ideas, and i don't know how to weave them together yet. i don't even know where to start.
i recently broke out this past year's writing to look at, hoping for some inspiration. its true, though, when they tell you that success consists less of inspiration than perspiration, so really the best i can hope for is to keep laboring away until i have something. still, i did find some clarity in those older scribblings, a focus of vision that always accompanies the origin of ideas. there is good stuff there, rules to write by, things to remember. the book i am working on in concept deals with the journey of writing as a pathway through life and the self, so reading the written journey of the past year is helpful.
it also makes me realize: i don't write nearly enough.
perspiration IS inspiration...or will lead to it anyway. if you catch enough on a piece of paper, somewhere on that page you'll find something useful. the point is to catch as much as possible.
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