Monday, February 12, 2007

Teach Me, Benvolio

(an english sonnet)

o teach me how i should forget to think
do more for me than liberate my eyes;
though roving, my eyes see her when they blink,
in blinking blooms the face of rosy lies.
give me something with which to replace her,
a potion with which i could cast her off;
ever if my eyes again do face her
my abled mind her image yet could doff.
show me something lovely in a new face,
in the dawn of some new mistress's eyes;
give me the sun, if moon cannot keep pace
or an enemy, if you think it wise.
so let us crush a cup of wine, and drink
and there perhaps i'll learn to forget to think.

3 comments:

phil said...

why sonnets?
because all of those dead and respected capital "P" Poets wrote them. and i have delusions of grandeur.

see also: proposta/risposta

phil said...

today i cleaned this poem up. i hacked out the fourth line ("forgetting all but images and lies" -- so...blah. it just sounds like i wrote it to rhyme) and replaced it with a better, more syntactically interesting line. it might be the best line in the poem. also, i changed "for moon" to "if moon" in the 11th line -- it just sounds better, and provides better symmetry with the 12th line.

that is all.
love,
small time poet.

phil said...

oh, OH! that is not all. i changed the 13th line as well...from "let us fill my prescription for a drink" (it was supposed to be another reference to the poison) to "so let us crush a cup of wine, and drink"....the metrical footing just sounds better, and also...its another line i stole from the play. next time i'll just get shakespeare to write the whole thing.

p.s., the new fourth line? hint: this poem is about rosaline.